Believe

Believe.

Believe is the word that showed up in my mailbox. It's perfect. I DO believe.

I believe in God, the Father almighty,

creator of heaven and earth.

I believe in Jesus Christ, his only Son, our Lord,

who was conceived by the Holy Spirit,

born of the Virgin Mary,

suffered under Pontius Pilate,

was crucified, died, and was buried;

he descended to the dead.

On the third day he rose again;

he ascended into heaven,

and is seated at the right hand of the Father.

He will come to judge the living and the dead.

I believe in the Holy Spirit,

the holy catholic Church,

the communion of saints,

the forgiveness of sins,

the resurrection of the body,

and the life everlasting.

Amen.

I believe that I deserve incredible things in my life. I believe my mantra of May you be well, may you be loved, may you be joyful, may you be at peace. I believe that all of those belong within my spirit, as well as with those around me. 

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The job situation has changed yet again. On Thursday I went to the office nearest my house and spent the day cleaning up a little billing. There's a lot to do yet, but the billing director informed me that i released 10k in outstanding invoices. 10k in one day... 

On Friday I locked up my clinic. Then the Dir of Ops asks if I would transfer to the other location i released billing for permanently. No more floating. I accepted as long as my wage remained the same. 

I feel like everything is still in such a state of flux... 

But I took care of something tonight that needed to be done, for my mental health. My nightmares of being out of place, of not belonging when certain circumstances come to pass, have been laid to rest. It is no longer a concern or fear. It does not affect me any longer. I don't need to be on the list. 

New changes each and every day. Everything is transitory. 

I believe I can make it through, and I have faith in my ability to not harden my heart. To stay soft and warm regardless of circumstance. I believe in Love first, always.