Bait and Switch

Don't you just love it when you start something new, and the intentions and expectations are all laid out and you mull over whether to accept them, then when you do, they are switched out for something else? Bait and Switch. A familiar theme, apparently.

Today I was informed that my position was no longer working at one clinic M-W-F and floating the other 2 days, but full time float and I could be at a different clinic everyday. Zero stability. Everything up in the air. Not knowing where I'll be from one day to the next.

I have had quite enough of that, thankyouverymuch, so I was furious.

I went straight to HR, told him I was angry and felt betrayed and lied to. The conversation lasted a solid 25 minutes. He asked what I wanted my dream job to look like within the company. "I want to work the position I was promised M-W-F, then work here Tu and Th as your part time HR generalist... Cuz let's be real, it's obvious you need some help around here..." He was taken aback, but said he would think about it. I told him we needed a game plan, one that doesn't involve me getting screwed. He said we would talk more Thursday.

I vented to my mother about the situation. When I was done telling her everything, she said she was impressed. She acknowledged how far I've come and she was proud of me for sticking up for myself immediately and not simply backing down and accepting a shitty situation just because I'm told I have no other choice. I DO have a choice. I ALWAYS have a choice. She said I was in a metamorphosis. I laughed and told her I was going to emerge a raging butterfly. She laughed at that thought and shook her head. "I think not... You're going to come out a yellow jacket, stab some people, and go about your business - not taking any bullshit at all."

I'm due for something to be easy. For something to make it's way into my life that doesn't feel like a fight, like a struggle. Something that I don't have to claw my way through. I'll get there, but in the short term I've trying not to be bitter. I'm just so tired.

On the plus side, I'm down 10 lbs from last Monday.

I used my parent's elliptical last night and this morning when I couldn't sleep. I walked for my lunch break outside today too. Sleep will find me again eventually, and I just need to burn off this access stress and unease.

We'll see what tomorrow holds.