Tuesday, June 19, 2018

This Camels Back Can't Take Anymore Straw...

This is a rant. Fair warning. 

Last night was a challenge. My frustration is getting harder and harder to keep in, and I'm trying to maintain my cool. Last night all of the kids fathers short comings came to a head. His complacency with utter filth, his lax attitude for task completion that aren't on his priority list, and his feigned concern for my health (yet complete lack of support in the areas I've asked for to maintain my health)... It was all shoved in my face at once, and keeping my frustration and anger in check was extremely hard. 

I don't understand how a grown man can be okay with sleeping on a couch that is covered in dirt, animal hair, and animal waste (both urine and excrement) BY CHOICE and think it is acceptable, when there is a fully functional bed upstairs. He says he won't sleep up there so that I will, yet he refuses to put the A/C unit in the window, after countless times of me telling him I can't get overheated as a health issue. It is a solid 100+ degrees upstairs... Probably the more likely reason why he refuses to sleep up there, yet he doesn't see that if he took 2 minutes to put the A/C unit into the window that you practically have to step over in order to get to the bed, he would solve his own issue. He could sleep in a more comfortable and appropriate bed AND have it be a comfortable temperature. But he just doesn't see the obvious solutions because he's grown complacent with sleeping on pee. 

I bought a replacement faucet for the kitchen sink as the old one sprung a leak and was spraying water everywhere. He didn't see it as a priority to swap out, as he had slapped some duct tape on the leak and figured it was good enough. I decided Sunday would be a good day to fix it, as we didn't really have plans for the day in the morning. He was pretty annoyed that I would suggest such a thing, being that it was fathers day, and he said he was upset that we "wouldn't get to do anything fun." I bit my tongue... what a perfect way to celebrate Father's Day... by stepping up and TAKING CARE OF YOUR FUCKING FAMILY, but I digress. I attempted to fix it myself, but without any hand strength, or fingers that work for that matter, I wasn't able to do it myself. I made the mistake of asking for help. He bitched and complained the entire time. Giving up after 30 seconds of trying. Proclaiming it to be "too hard" and "no one can fix this." He walked away from it 3 or 4 times, muttering and whining about how it was impossible. Finally having enough of the bitching and moaning, I packed up our daughter and took her to the hardware store to get the appropriate tools needed. As we walked back into the house, he said "it's done." I checked that water did indeed come out of the faucet, but his behavior wasn't prideful at getting it done, it was still annoyance. How dare I task him with something "to do" on Fathers Day that wasn't fun. Fuck necessity. It wasn't fun! So I didn't check under the sink for leaks. I trusted that he took that initiative. 

Last night I was in the basement, scrubbing out my ferrets cage when he decided to finally do up the dishes. Water came pouring out of the basement ceiling. I yelled for him to turn the water off, that it was leaking from somewhere. We opened the cabinet under the sink. FULL of water. I asked very calmly and politely if he tested the connections after he reattached everything. "It was fine. I didn't even touch the original attachments." I simply said "next time, make sure you tighten all the attachment points, even if you didn't touch them. It's a good time to make sure all the attachments are tight, including the drain, as a tune up of sorts." He literally crossed his arms and pouted. "Well now what?" I told him to turn the water back on so I could see where the leak was coming from. He rolled his eyes at me. 

I found the source of the leak. I will get the parts to fix it. I WILL MAKE SURE MY CHILDREN HAVE CLEAN WATER TO DRINK FROM THE TAP THAT DOESN'T CAUSE WATER DAMAGE TO THE REST OF THE HOUSE. 

He doesn't fucking deserve to keep living in that house. His idea of cleaning and organizing is putting his comics in plastic bags. Any major issues, I have been the one to either take care of it myself, bought the parts and asked for help, or hired someone to take care of something way over my head. He has NEVER taken the initiative on maintaining the house. He still has a dryer in the basement that isn't hooked up because he can't be bothered with a single fucking phone call to get the line hooked up. I have put my foot down on that one. I WILL NOT TAKE CARE OF EVERYTHING. So it's still down there. Unused. The washer is probably shot now after sitting unused for 4 years too. The basement sink is clogged with all sorts of debris that I don't even know what he dumped in there. 

It was 10:30pm by the time kids were settled in bed, the source of the leak found, and I was getting ready to walk out the door. That was when he let in the dogs, one of which hopped on the couch and clearly had rolled in something dead outside. I told him she had rolled in something and would need to be washed. He started calling her and she hid. Instead of walking to the dog and picking her up, he just kept calling her louder and louder... scaring the dog and keeping the kids awake/waking them up. 

I snapped. 

"Oh for Fucks Sake. Are you really that incompetent that I have to fucking take care of everything for you??" I put down my purse and keys (literally was trying to walk out the door), grabbed the dog, carried her to the bathroom, put her in the tub and looked up at him. "Are you going to help or what?" He walked away. So I scrubbed the dog. Rinsed her really well. Got covered in dog water and whatever it was that she rolled in. Toweled the dog off. Put her in her crate. Collected up the now soaked towels from the bathroom. 

With a handful of wet towels in my hands, I told him I would see him later. That now I had laundry to do, a shower to take, and I would look for an extra set of hose connections at my parents house. 

This morning he had the audacity to be pissed at me because I was running late to pick up the kids. 

He was pissed at me... 

I can't do this anymore. I've been shaking and on the verge of tears a good chunk of the day. I can't do this anymore!

No comments:

Post a Comment