Busting My Butt (In A Good Way!)

I've been pretty quiet lately - mostly because I have been completely obsessed with working out and tracking my calories. I am so determined to loose weight and get fit... and doing it the right way! :)

This week I'm down 2 lbs. I've been tracking everything and thus far I've burned 900 calories. That's this week. To say I'm proud is an understatement! I'm really working hard. My face has even started to slim down already... Thank goodness!!!



A Break

I mentioned I was going to head up north to my parents house for a bit of a break - a little reprieve of my life to just relax, heal, think, and be.

It was wonderful.

I sent an email to the bestie describing what I did, and I shall paste it here... Since it perfectly articulated what I did, why try to recreate the wheel. ;3



What I Did on My Summer Vacation

1) Ate Bacon

2) Ate Candied Bacon

3) Ate Smores

4) Ate Candied Bacon... ON a Smore (struck culinary genius with this one)

5) Printed stuff on tank tops

6) Made some crappy art

7) Took a (mostly) naked nap in the sun on the deck

8) Went for a hike with B'scotch

9) Ate Bacon

10) Played fetch with B'scotch for hours

11) Went for a 2 mile walk with B'scotch (walking in sand should count for 3x the activity)

12) Thought about who I've become - and that I don't care for her very much. Also thought about finally being honest with DH about who I feel I am - what I've been twisted into, and what I've done in the past. This TERRIFIES me, but I can't move forward with my head firmly wedged up my ass in the past. "You gotta put your behind in your past." 

13) Slept in a huge snuggley comfy bed.

14) Woke with the sunrise, went to bed when I was tired

15) Meditated

16) Did some gentle yoga poses/stretches

17) Laid in the grass and just listened...

18) Ate Bacon

 

Next time I will go up for more than 44 hours.

 

OH! I also took a couple baths... in the ginormous Jacuzzi tub. Just me and Buddha, chillin.

I suspect he's up to something...

Asking For Help

I've never been very good at asking for help. Ever. It's just not something I'm comfortable with - which I know is just one of those ridiculous mental flaws that I have.

But now that I literally am having a hard time doing what used to be normal everyday activities, I'm finding that I can't do things alone. As much as I think I should be able to...

So today I am single parent as hubby is off in California for the weekend being a good sport. Long story - not worth explaining. It just so happens that I have just about zero food in the house and need to head to the grocery store. With both kids in tow. AND I'm having a wicked pain day today after washing ALL the dishes yesterday by myself. So I asked a buddy yesterday if he could help today. Yeah, sure, no problem. Well turns out today that he is spending the day with the new girlfriend, so he won't be available to help until after 5pm. I was hoping to be starting dinner by then... So I told him no worries, I'll ask around.

Asked newest buddy and she is repainting a room in her house today, so she won't be available. Wanted to ask super bestie, but she just got home from a work trip herself and it was her first time away from her little baby. I don't want to intrude and bug her - especially because I think she might be at work today anyways.

Now I know beggers can't be choosers, so if I want someone to help me, I really need to be flexible to their schedules. Only... it's not just me - I have my little peoples schedules to tap dance around too.

I just hate feeling rejected when I already feel low. I know it's not intentional, but yeah... This is why I don't ask for help. The rare times I do ask I try to ask in advance, then when the person I was counting on bails, I'm screwed trying to find a replacement last minute. And then I end up having to take care of shit by myself anyways. So why bother asking in the first place?

Maybe I'll call my dad. See if he can at least meet me at the house after I get home to help bring the groceries in. Or my brother...

(sigh)

Thanksgiving

I hosted Thanksgiving this year and I tried to pace myself with all the food prep a couple days before. I still over did it and didn't ask for nearly as much help as I actually needed (I did a gluten-free menu this year). I've been paying for it the past couple days. Unfortunately my spouse doesn't completely understand that recovery isn't a one day deal. I still am in more pain than normal and I just feel weak. I've made the decision not to complain, as best I can, but my patience is non-existant today. It's not fair to my family.

But I do want to say that I am thankful for many things. I am thankful for a family who is trying to understand, trying to be supportive. I am thankful for a team of doctors and therapists who are working with me to get to my "new normal." It really is a blessing.

Autumn Jam

So in my usual fashion, when stressed, I turn to food. But today I made a jam I've never made before. Blackberry/Cranberry. HO-LY YUM.

2 6oz packages blackberries
12 oz cranberries
1/2 cup water (or apple cider)
2-3 Tbsp maple syrup
1/2 tsp cinnamon

Put everything in a pot and simmer until cranberries burst. Mash berries with potato masher and simmer for a couple more minutes. Cool or can as desired.

*adapted from Autumn Jam recipe on www.theculturedcook.com.

This is low sugar, gluten free, and full of amazing flavor.