I'm trying to keep my mind occupied. Between issues with my father and the upcoming euthanasia of my cat (on Thursday), I'm pretty tapped out as far as emotions of sadness and worry are concerned.
Latest update on dad is this: He had an endoscopy this afternoon and there were no surprises or anything really "wrong." They took a few biopsies and that was that. While that may seem like good news to some, that also means no answers as to why he can't keep anything down on his own. For now he's stable with IV fluids and IV Zofran. The oral meds did nothing for him, so the fact that he's been able to stop throwing up for any period of time has been a blessing. But there are still no answers... So what happens now? They pull him off the IV's and we go through all of this all over again?
And my cat... Dear Pandora. The ancient grey kitty. She would be 19 in August, but I just don't have the heart to have her continue on any longer in her current state. In addition to being blind and deaf and now increasingly confused (she was bad a month ago, then regained some awareness, but now she's back to confusion) she is also becoming angry. Until yesterday she would instantly purr and snuggle with my son whenever he went to get her. Last night she was snuggling with him then suddenly started growling and hissed. Her personality has changed.
It's time to let her go.
Some would tease that it was time to let her go a long time ago, and there is definitely some truth to that... But it's time now and I'm ready and she's ready and I'm really going to miss my kitty.
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I grabbed an angel card just now. Support. I just sorta stared at it for a minute. I don't even know what to do with that right now... at least not for myself. Made mom dinner, so she doesn't have to worry about what to eat when she gets home from the hospital. I guess that is my reflection on "support" for the day.
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