Met with my new physical therapist... and I couldn't be happier. She confirmed my hypermobility in my fingers, wrists, elbows, shoulders, knees, and ankles. She asked me questions that no one ever had that made complete sense. I nearly burst into tears at the end of our evaluation and thanked her for getting it - for not treating me like a hypochondriac and understanding my body. She smiled and nodded and said "I get it. I know how frustrating hypermobility diseases are. Thats why I'm here to help."
She was wearing these beautiful finger splints. As I'm typing, my hand is actually hurting and I'm watching my fingers buckle over backwards. I will ask her for her opinion on finger splints and see if they help her - and if she thinks they may benefit me...
Productive introduction. I'm thinking I'm on the right track here.
She recommended getting a referral to a geneticist. She doesnt want me to accept "joint instability syndrome" as my diagnosis. "So there is a hypermobility syndrome... but which one?" I hadnt even thought of that. So I want to ask the rheumatologist about testing for EDS. I will give them a call in the morning.
Feeling pretty positive. :)
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Monday, October 29, 2012
Starting MORE Therapy (and a bit of an JIS rant)
So while I was at the Rheumatologist last week, he asks "have you started your physical therapy yet?" No. I had just had surgery on my hand and was waiting to get that under control before I started additional therapies. "Ok, well I want you to start. Here's another script for pool therapy. And the flexiril isn't doing anything? Here's a script for a new anti-spasmatic medication..." Took the new meds last night (1/2 a pill as he suggested to start) and I didn't really notice a difference. BUT, it's the first night, I froze my tush off on the couch and I was lamenting the Tiger's losing the World Series. I'm not throwing my hands up in defeat that I will never sleep again just yet.
After my OT today, I swung by the physical therapy office and asked to make an appointment to get my pool therapy rolling. They were very accomedating with my OT schedule and the stars alligned just right as the therapist who will be treating me actually specializes in connective tissue disorders and has JIS herself. I am hopeful that this will give her the best insight as to how to help me. A little voice in the back of my head is chirping "beware!" as one of the draw backs to finding someone else with a rare ailment (unfortunately) becomes a competative pissing match of who's case is more severe and who has the biggest right to bitch and complain. It happens all the time, ESPECIALLY with a group of women. That very reason is why I tend to internalize my shit - especially my medical issues - as nothing is more heartbreaking than having your fears and frustrations completely invalidated by a complete stranger by saying "Why are you complaining? My case is soooo much worse!"
Is it slightly ridiculous that my brain immediately goes on the defensive that I've actually potentially found someone else that suffers from the same shit as me? Ridiculous. I should be rejoicing! In reality, I despise not really understanding what is happening to my body. It's my body, I know it better than anyone. But even with the reseach I've been doing, the resources just aren't there to help me grasp the "why" because, quite frankly, no one knows. I get it, there isn't a dedicated association for this disorder like there is for Lupus, Fibromyalgia, and the other heavy hitters of the connective tissue disorder world. Why? One simple reason - it isn't terminal. Not in the immediate sense. It's more of an "inconvenience" type of disease. "Oh, your body parts pop out of the socket? That's inconvenient." "Oh, your connective tissues are falling apart and there isn't a really valid reason why? That's inconvenient." See what I mean? Echo came back clear, so for now my heart is uneffected. GOOD. So now what can I do to "uneffect" the rest of my body??
We shall have to see what the new jiggley joint therapist says!
After my OT today, I swung by the physical therapy office and asked to make an appointment to get my pool therapy rolling. They were very accomedating with my OT schedule and the stars alligned just right as the therapist who will be treating me actually specializes in connective tissue disorders and has JIS herself. I am hopeful that this will give her the best insight as to how to help me. A little voice in the back of my head is chirping "beware!" as one of the draw backs to finding someone else with a rare ailment (unfortunately) becomes a competative pissing match of who's case is more severe and who has the biggest right to bitch and complain. It happens all the time, ESPECIALLY with a group of women. That very reason is why I tend to internalize my shit - especially my medical issues - as nothing is more heartbreaking than having your fears and frustrations completely invalidated by a complete stranger by saying "Why are you complaining? My case is soooo much worse!"
Is it slightly ridiculous that my brain immediately goes on the defensive that I've actually potentially found someone else that suffers from the same shit as me? Ridiculous. I should be rejoicing! In reality, I despise not really understanding what is happening to my body. It's my body, I know it better than anyone. But even with the reseach I've been doing, the resources just aren't there to help me grasp the "why" because, quite frankly, no one knows. I get it, there isn't a dedicated association for this disorder like there is for Lupus, Fibromyalgia, and the other heavy hitters of the connective tissue disorder world. Why? One simple reason - it isn't terminal. Not in the immediate sense. It's more of an "inconvenience" type of disease. "Oh, your body parts pop out of the socket? That's inconvenient." "Oh, your connective tissues are falling apart and there isn't a really valid reason why? That's inconvenient." See what I mean? Echo came back clear, so for now my heart is uneffected. GOOD. So now what can I do to "uneffect" the rest of my body??
We shall have to see what the new jiggley joint therapist says!
Thursday, October 25, 2012
Autumn Jam
So in my usual fashion, when stressed, I turn to food. But today I made a jam I've never made before. Blackberry/Cranberry. HO-LY YUM.
2 6oz packages blackberries
12 oz cranberries
1/2 cup water (or apple cider)
2-3 Tbsp maple syrup
1/2 tsp cinnamon
Put everything in a pot and simmer until cranberries burst. Mash berries with potato masher and simmer for a couple more minutes. Cool or can as desired.
*adapted from Autumn Jam recipe on www.theculturedcook.com.
This is low sugar, gluten free, and full of amazing flavor.
2 6oz packages blackberries
12 oz cranberries
1/2 cup water (or apple cider)
2-3 Tbsp maple syrup
1/2 tsp cinnamon
Put everything in a pot and simmer until cranberries burst. Mash berries with potato masher and simmer for a couple more minutes. Cool or can as desired.
*adapted from Autumn Jam recipe on www.theculturedcook.com.
This is low sugar, gluten free, and full of amazing flavor.
Relief and Frustration
Relief - I do not have any of the other markers for Lupus, so that potential diagnosis is out. PHEW.
Frustration - There is nothing they can do regarding my joint instability syndrome. I just have to deal. I can continue to have surgeries that don't hold, or they can fuse my joints so they are no longer an issue, and that is it. No medications to slow it down, and they really don't know much of anything about it.
But I have my dietary focus now, so that is great news. And the Rheum wrote me a script for strictly pool work physical therapy. I asked the doc how he felt about a change in lifestyle and going 100% gluten free (I mentioned some of the research I had done) and he was completely supportive of me trying that avenue. "There have been reports of many people having great success managing their fibro pain and fatigue by cutting out gluten. I say give it a shot! It certainly won't hurt anything, thats for sure!"
So there I have it - an endorsement to take my health and well being into my own hands by a medical professional.
Turns out my Occupational Therapist is gluten free, can free, plastic free, pastured grass fed animal consuming, and raw milk drinking. 2 people in the last week have recommended the GAPS book to me, so I think I'll give it a look. It also turns out that a girl I went to middle school and high school with is a nutritional goddess and is very open to talking about health and wellness. My mom is going to go to the gluten free classes with me and she is looking into how much a membership is for us to use the pool at the local YMCA. I feel like all the puzzle pieces are falling into place to get this done right - and to be fully supported by family and friends. :-D
Frustration - There is nothing they can do regarding my joint instability syndrome. I just have to deal. I can continue to have surgeries that don't hold, or they can fuse my joints so they are no longer an issue, and that is it. No medications to slow it down, and they really don't know much of anything about it.
SO FRUSTRATING.
But I have my dietary focus now, so that is great news. And the Rheum wrote me a script for strictly pool work physical therapy. I asked the doc how he felt about a change in lifestyle and going 100% gluten free (I mentioned some of the research I had done) and he was completely supportive of me trying that avenue. "There have been reports of many people having great success managing their fibro pain and fatigue by cutting out gluten. I say give it a shot! It certainly won't hurt anything, thats for sure!"
So there I have it - an endorsement to take my health and well being into my own hands by a medical professional.
Turns out my Occupational Therapist is gluten free, can free, plastic free, pastured grass fed animal consuming, and raw milk drinking. 2 people in the last week have recommended the GAPS book to me, so I think I'll give it a look. It also turns out that a girl I went to middle school and high school with is a nutritional goddess and is very open to talking about health and wellness. My mom is going to go to the gluten free classes with me and she is looking into how much a membership is for us to use the pool at the local YMCA. I feel like all the puzzle pieces are falling into place to get this done right - and to be fully supported by family and friends. :-D
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
Food 102
I got home from my nutrition class about an hour ago and I am still SO excited about the changes that will be made in our household.
Todays class focused on how to blend this lifestyle into your current one. Again, Lisa did not disappoint with handouts that I can share with family and friends. I'm so excited to learn more. Its strange, I felt really connected to Lisa today... like the information she was sharing I just wanted to absorb and immediately share with others. Maybe once I've switched over our household and gained first hand results of wellness, teaching others might be in my future? I do love sharing information with others...
Take today for example: I got a ride to Whole Paycheck from my BFF. We are still down to one car, which makes simple tasks trying, but I digress. I had such a great time walking around the store with her, sharing what info I'd been learning. We talked about "organic cage-less" vs "pastured" eggs, the difference in nutritional value, and the cost of investing in your health.
Cost is a big stumping factor for most people. They way I look at it, I'm sitting on $5k of medical bills from AUGUST - PRESENT ALONE. $5,000 is a LOT of money!!! Thats an additional $96 a WEEK that I could be investing in better quality foods for my family that may reverse my pain and disability and keep my children safe from ever having to face this themselves.
Todays class focused on how to blend this lifestyle into your current one. Again, Lisa did not disappoint with handouts that I can share with family and friends. I'm so excited to learn more. Its strange, I felt really connected to Lisa today... like the information she was sharing I just wanted to absorb and immediately share with others. Maybe once I've switched over our household and gained first hand results of wellness, teaching others might be in my future? I do love sharing information with others...
Take today for example: I got a ride to Whole Paycheck from my BFF. We are still down to one car, which makes simple tasks trying, but I digress. I had such a great time walking around the store with her, sharing what info I'd been learning. We talked about "organic cage-less" vs "pastured" eggs, the difference in nutritional value, and the cost of investing in your health.
Cost is a big stumping factor for most people. They way I look at it, I'm sitting on $5k of medical bills from AUGUST - PRESENT ALONE. $5,000 is a LOT of money!!! Thats an additional $96 a WEEK that I could be investing in better quality foods for my family that may reverse my pain and disability and keep my children safe from ever having to face this themselves.
If that isn't an eye opener, I don't know what is.
Monday, October 22, 2012
Stalemate...
I had an appointment with the surgeon this morning and it appears we have reached a stalemate. My surgery has basically undone itself already (damn) and she said it would be pointless to attempt another soft tissue reconstruction as my body would just tear it all apart again anyways. She said she wants to wait to see what the rheumatologist says on Thursday before we move forward. She is hoping they will put me on some kind of "biological medication" that will slow down my body's tendency to attack itself. After we get that figured out, we can move forward. Otherwise, she said she would have to fuse the bones in my wrist, and I would basically have to decide what motions I would be willing to give up: either flipping my hand over, or extension/flexion of the wrist.
Not exactly what I wanted to hear, by any means.
SO! Now is as good a time as any to get me back on track from the inside out. To see what I can help/reverse by taking care of myself and really pushing my family to accept the nutritional changes I want to see happen. When the surgeon said "biological medicine" a little trumpet went off in my brain - I can affect my biology through diet. Now, thats not to say that I will refuse medication. I'm falling apart - literally. I need to get that crap under control NOW. But I also know that once I get on a medication to stabilize my weirdness, I may be able to wean myself off should I also get all of the shit out of my diet too. Heal myself from the inside out.
Its worth a shot. It certainly couldn't get much worse...
Not exactly what I wanted to hear, by any means.
SO! Now is as good a time as any to get me back on track from the inside out. To see what I can help/reverse by taking care of myself and really pushing my family to accept the nutritional changes I want to see happen. When the surgeon said "biological medicine" a little trumpet went off in my brain - I can affect my biology through diet. Now, thats not to say that I will refuse medication. I'm falling apart - literally. I need to get that crap under control NOW. But I also know that once I get on a medication to stabilize my weirdness, I may be able to wean myself off should I also get all of the shit out of my diet too. Heal myself from the inside out.
Its worth a shot. It certainly couldn't get much worse...
Thursday, October 18, 2012
Food 101 - You Are What You Eat
Having allowed myself a little wallow time, I feel remarkably inspired to get down and dirty with how I can do something about what is happening to me. I've decided to focus on diet. I've always had a bit of a food obsession to begin with (bulemia in my teens/early twenties) and I've tried more than once to do a diet overhaul. I've had 2 factors that always lead to their failure. 1) I didn't completely buy into what they were saying - Yes, a plant-based diet does have many many health benefits... but lets be honest here, I like how tush (animal products) taste. I just don't like how animal products are jam packed with hormones, pesticides, antibiotics... and don't get me started on the treatment of those poor souls. 2) Crappy support. So does this mean I can never eat meat or drink milk ever again??
Thankfully, the answer is no. I don't have to give these things up!
I went to a nutritional class on Tuesday with my mom called "One plate at a time: Eating to beat diabetes, inflammatory disease, and cancer" lead by Lisa (The Cultured Cook). She was AMAZING. I seriously can't wait for next weeks class!! Not only that, but she has a course on gluten-free living coming up next month... I can't wait!! But I digress...
In the class we talked about how diabetes and disease reek havok in the body. We only lightly touched on inflammatory diseases, but the following information was more than amazing. We talked about how the body processes what we eat and how we can directly effect our health with our diet. Omega 3's are anti-inflammatory. They are found in high concentrations in green grass. Humans do not produce Omega 3's, nor can we digest grass. So how the heck are we supposed to get these amazing little powerhouses into our systems? By consuming something that consumes the grass! Lisa then introduced the idea that "organic" milk only means no hormones and no pesticides were used in the cows feed or injected into their bodies... but those cows are typically grain fed, not pasture grass fed...
The old atteche "you are what you eat" is true. But you are also what the thing you're eating has been eating.
For a warm fuzzy example of this in nature: Brine shrimp eat red algae. Brine shrimp are pink. Flamingo's eat brine shrimp. Flamino's are... Pink! Flamingo's kept in captivity that are fed a shrimp alternative are... White! See? You are what you eat. ;)
Now for the less fuzzy example... Store bought chicken. Those chicken are fed corn (sprayed with pesticides), corn meal, bone meal (from other chickens, mind you), and chicken litter (ground up chicken parts, feathers, feces, and corn meal that has fallen on the ground). It's enough to make you sick, isnt it? The chickens too, so they are given an antibiotic to keep infection and disease to a minimum. And since those poor souls can't sustain life in those conditions for long, they are given growth hormone to speed up their growth rate so they can be slaughtered before dying from disease.
Yum yum. Dish me up a plate of THAT.
So I have decided no more regular old store bought meats, eggs and milk. I'm done with that. No thank you!
Last week I purchased an 1/8 of a pasture grass fed cow. I currently have just over 50 lbs of assorted cuts of meat in my upright freezer. That should last me a little while. I'm also joining a co-op for my milk, eggs, and poultry. These are all pastured, grass fed animals. Oh, and no antibiotics or growth hormones for these bad boys. The milk is raw whole milk. I know, I know, poo poo me on that one... but is your milk full of Omega 3's? Nope! They've been cooked right out with pastuerization, along with a slew of other vitamins and minerals. Is it a little pricey? Sure... but so are all these freakin medical bills!! If you're in the Metro Detroit Area, check out Family Farms Cooperative We are talking SUPER reasonable not to mention supporting local Michigan farmers. I'm also doing away with canned veggies and plastic bottles for my milk storage... More on that later. ;-)
I'm excited!! :-D
Fun fact for the day: Did you know that if you buy 1 gallon of whole milk and split it between 2 seperate gallon jugs and fill to the brim with water, you now have 2 gallons of 2% milk?? How's that for stretching a dollar??
Thankfully, the answer is no. I don't have to give these things up!
I went to a nutritional class on Tuesday with my mom called "One plate at a time: Eating to beat diabetes, inflammatory disease, and cancer" lead by Lisa (The Cultured Cook). She was AMAZING. I seriously can't wait for next weeks class!! Not only that, but she has a course on gluten-free living coming up next month... I can't wait!! But I digress...
In the class we talked about how diabetes and disease reek havok in the body. We only lightly touched on inflammatory diseases, but the following information was more than amazing. We talked about how the body processes what we eat and how we can directly effect our health with our diet. Omega 3's are anti-inflammatory. They are found in high concentrations in green grass. Humans do not produce Omega 3's, nor can we digest grass. So how the heck are we supposed to get these amazing little powerhouses into our systems? By consuming something that consumes the grass! Lisa then introduced the idea that "organic" milk only means no hormones and no pesticides were used in the cows feed or injected into their bodies... but those cows are typically grain fed, not pasture grass fed...
The old atteche "you are what you eat" is true. But you are also what the thing you're eating has been eating.
For a warm fuzzy example of this in nature: Brine shrimp eat red algae. Brine shrimp are pink. Flamingo's eat brine shrimp. Flamino's are... Pink! Flamingo's kept in captivity that are fed a shrimp alternative are... White! See? You are what you eat. ;)
Now for the less fuzzy example... Store bought chicken. Those chicken are fed corn (sprayed with pesticides), corn meal, bone meal (from other chickens, mind you), and chicken litter (ground up chicken parts, feathers, feces, and corn meal that has fallen on the ground). It's enough to make you sick, isnt it? The chickens too, so they are given an antibiotic to keep infection and disease to a minimum. And since those poor souls can't sustain life in those conditions for long, they are given growth hormone to speed up their growth rate so they can be slaughtered before dying from disease.
Yum yum. Dish me up a plate of THAT.
So I have decided no more regular old store bought meats, eggs and milk. I'm done with that. No thank you!
Last week I purchased an 1/8 of a pasture grass fed cow. I currently have just over 50 lbs of assorted cuts of meat in my upright freezer. That should last me a little while. I'm also joining a co-op for my milk, eggs, and poultry. These are all pastured, grass fed animals. Oh, and no antibiotics or growth hormones for these bad boys. The milk is raw whole milk. I know, I know, poo poo me on that one... but is your milk full of Omega 3's? Nope! They've been cooked right out with pastuerization, along with a slew of other vitamins and minerals. Is it a little pricey? Sure... but so are all these freakin medical bills!! If you're in the Metro Detroit Area, check out Family Farms Cooperative We are talking SUPER reasonable not to mention supporting local Michigan farmers. I'm also doing away with canned veggies and plastic bottles for my milk storage... More on that later. ;-)
I'm excited!! :-D
Fun fact for the day: Did you know that if you buy 1 gallon of whole milk and split it between 2 seperate gallon jugs and fill to the brim with water, you now have 2 gallons of 2% milk?? How's that for stretching a dollar??
Monday, October 15, 2012
Falling Apart... Again
Todays therapy did not go well. Tendon is subluxing again which would lead one to believe the internal tissues that the synthetic tendon sheath were adheared to are too unstable to hold. The wrist is crunching again and I'm trying so hard not to fall apart emotionally too.
I'm disappointed.
I'm in pain.
I don't understand what the hell is happening to me.
To top it off? My right wrist is starting to hurt too. I'm feeling useless and broken. I haven't been really helping out at home. Granted, I'm technically not supposed to... but I've been sticking to it as I'm physically unable.
I'm getting frustrated with being in pain all the time. Its starting to affect my relationships with people. I'm typically a very quiet person when it comes to my personal life. At times, getting me to open up and share is like pulling teeth. But lately, I feel myself withdrawing from everyone. I guess I'm tired of people asking "how's the hand?" and me not having anything positive to say. When people ask, they don't want to hear anything other than "things are going great!" I admitted things were not going well to a patient at work the other day and the look of pity she gave me...
I don't want anyone to pity this shit I've been dealt. I do that enough for myself, thank you very much.
Tonight is a rough night for Keeping It Together...
I'm disappointed.
I'm in pain.
I don't understand what the hell is happening to me.
To top it off? My right wrist is starting to hurt too. I'm feeling useless and broken. I haven't been really helping out at home. Granted, I'm technically not supposed to... but I've been sticking to it as I'm physically unable.
I'm getting frustrated with being in pain all the time. Its starting to affect my relationships with people. I'm typically a very quiet person when it comes to my personal life. At times, getting me to open up and share is like pulling teeth. But lately, I feel myself withdrawing from everyone. I guess I'm tired of people asking "how's the hand?" and me not having anything positive to say. When people ask, they don't want to hear anything other than "things are going great!" I admitted things were not going well to a patient at work the other day and the look of pity she gave me...
I don't want anyone to pity this shit I've been dealt. I do that enough for myself, thank you very much.
Tonight is a rough night for Keeping It Together...
Saturday, October 13, 2012
Pushed Too Hard?
Had my 5th session of OT on friday. It did not go well. I had pushed myself pretty hard the day before with my home exercises and was pretty sore. Get into OT and my wrist was very stiff and swollen. The therapist starts to do a gentle stretch and...
*POP*
We both froze. I looked at her. She looked at me. Neither of use moved a muscle for a good 3 hard seconds. I swollowed. Hard. It started to hurt. She backed off the therapy for the day and taped my wrist. Told me to take a break from home exercise and just rest my hand/wrist the rest of the weekend.
"The tendon slipping has me concerned... I'm hoping that doesnt happen again."
Me too, lady. Me too.
I'm too depressed to say much else today. It was a bad pain day.
*POP*
We both froze. I looked at her. She looked at me. Neither of use moved a muscle for a good 3 hard seconds. I swollowed. Hard. It started to hurt. She backed off the therapy for the day and taped my wrist. Told me to take a break from home exercise and just rest my hand/wrist the rest of the weekend.
"The tendon slipping has me concerned... I'm hoping that doesnt happen again."
Me too, lady. Me too.
I'm too depressed to say much else today. It was a bad pain day.
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
Occupational Therapy Begins
This morning I had my initial evaluation with the occupational therapist. First visits are always boring. Basically all she did was look me over, talk about my health history, and get my current range of motion measurements. The real fun starts Friday when I go in for my first session. She did give me a packet of exercises to start today, as well as scar massage she wants me to start.
I was pretty put out by how limited my ROM is. I cant yet turn my hand over. I know I need to be patient and this is going to be a learning process, but still. The notion of a "new normal" is something I'm having a hard time with. There are just so many "new normals" I'm trying to deal with all at once. Not sure which way is up. And I'm afraid to make personal demands... To really ask that my needs be met. I have to make it to these appointments and I need to make sure that I am demanding I have a means to get there. Sucks, but I have to make it work. With only one car, makes it interesting.
Blah.
I was pretty put out by how limited my ROM is. I cant yet turn my hand over. I know I need to be patient and this is going to be a learning process, but still. The notion of a "new normal" is something I'm having a hard time with. There are just so many "new normals" I'm trying to deal with all at once. Not sure which way is up. And I'm afraid to make personal demands... To really ask that my needs be met. I have to make it to these appointments and I need to make sure that I am demanding I have a means to get there. Sucks, but I have to make it work. With only one car, makes it interesting.
Blah.
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
Therapy?
I finally called to schedule my occupational therapy for my hand. I still havent called or started my physical therapy for the rest of my body as, quite frankly, I can't afford the extra $60 a week on top of the $60 I'm going to be spending weekly on OT. This "taking care of yourself" is some expensive business!!
Not to mention still being down to one car with no end of that in sight. I have a dead car in my driveway and no way to get to therapy on my own. So I have to rely on rides from friends and family. This is definitely a lesson in humility if ever there was one. I really struggle with asking for help, and this has been a difficult week for me.
My mom, the incredible individual that she is, brought over Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Fibromyalgia, and Other Invisible Illnesses by Katrina Berne, PhD. She has put little slips of paper in it, marking points of interest and adding little notes here and there. While I am still reading it, one of the biggest things that sticks out is An Open Letter from Patient to Spouse/Partner. I've been feeling really hurt and resentful lately, and I think giving annoying hubby this letter will be the big break through I've needed to express. I've been completely withdrawing from him, mostly due to resentment I feel towards him. If this doesnt work, then I'll know what I need to do.
Not to mention still being down to one car with no end of that in sight. I have a dead car in my driveway and no way to get to therapy on my own. So I have to rely on rides from friends and family. This is definitely a lesson in humility if ever there was one. I really struggle with asking for help, and this has been a difficult week for me.
My mom, the incredible individual that she is, brought over Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Fibromyalgia, and Other Invisible Illnesses by Katrina Berne, PhD. She has put little slips of paper in it, marking points of interest and adding little notes here and there. While I am still reading it, one of the biggest things that sticks out is An Open Letter from Patient to Spouse/Partner. I've been feeling really hurt and resentful lately, and I think giving annoying hubby this letter will be the big break through I've needed to express. I've been completely withdrawing from him, mostly due to resentment I feel towards him. If this doesnt work, then I'll know what I need to do.
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