Todays therapy did not go well. Tendon is subluxing again which would lead one to believe the internal tissues that the synthetic tendon sheath were adheared to are too unstable to hold. The wrist is crunching again and I'm trying so hard not to fall apart emotionally too.
I'm disappointed.
I'm in pain.
I don't understand what the hell is happening to me.
To top it off? My right wrist is starting to hurt too. I'm feeling useless and broken. I haven't been really helping out at home. Granted, I'm technically not supposed to... but I've been sticking to it as I'm physically unable.
I'm getting frustrated with being in pain all the time. Its starting to affect my relationships with people. I'm typically a very quiet person when it comes to my personal life. At times, getting me to open up and share is like pulling teeth. But lately, I feel myself withdrawing from everyone. I guess I'm tired of people asking "how's the hand?" and me not having anything positive to say. When people ask, they don't want to hear anything other than "things are going great!" I admitted things were not going well to a patient at work the other day and the look of pity she gave me...
I don't want anyone to pity this shit I've been dealt. I do that enough for myself, thank you very much.
Tonight is a rough night for Keeping It Together...
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