A Storm is Brewing

I've had a rocky day today. The situation at work escalated a bit, as my coworkers again decided to approach me with disrespect and a shitty ass attitude. Over the course of the last year of working with him, I have had to say something to the boss only a couple other times previously, but this week has gotten bad. His tone with me has been utter shit, I don't deserve it, nor will I tolerate it in the workplace (or anywhere else, really). So I collected up my hurt feelings, sprinkled in a little anger, and called our boss. I let him know how condescending and abrasive my coworker has been this week. "I understand that in his mind I am no longer a member of the team, but last time I checked you were still signing my checks and haven't given me an end date... He needs to be reeled back in before he steamrolls your new interviewee right out the door." He thanked me for the heads up and said that he would talk to him. I also reminded him that teaching my coworker a little compassion could go a long way. "Ask him to put himself in my shoes for a minute. How would he feel, already on the verge of panic trying to figure out what he's going to do next for work, but while also still trying to maintain his current job responsibilities while it lasts - knowing he's being replaced any day and then tack on a nasty ass attitude from your coworker..." He said he felt extremely sorry that he treated me poorly.

There was another issue this week where my coworker threw me under the bus regarding sending clients a worksheet, and who in the household was supposed to complete it. Luckily I keep meeting minutes for all our meetings, and presented both the minutes and a drafted email that my coworker approved, with the verbiage THEY REQUESTED. It really does come in handy to keep documentation. My boss apologized again, told me there was a miscommunication on their part, and that I was indeed doing what was asked of me. He asked me to send him an email to his personal address (as the coworker monitors the bosses work emails very closely) detailing his behavior this week. I told him I would have to send it from my personal email as well, as the coworker also monitors my inbox AND sent email correspondence. There was quite a long pause before he said "I'm sorry, did you just say he monitors your sent emails too?" Yep. I could hear him growing uncomfortable. "Well that seems excessive... I know he likes to be in control of things, but there comes a point you need to trust people a little..."

My boss is a good guy.

My coworker has just been a dick.

Maybe I'm not just experiencing rampaging hormones after all (just kidding, I totally am) but maybe there's more to it. There has been a shift happening within me. I'm not backing down as quickly or as easily as I used to. I'm not going around looking for a fight, but push me enough times and I'm bound to shove back. For a split second, I thought about how the coworker was going to bash me to the boss in retaliation. A split second I felt bad for reaching out to the boss. It didn't last long and I threw that tiniest hesitation right out the window. This is a teachable moment for my coworker... for my boss too. Even for me.

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My reading today was in reference to finding the center, and talked about the eye of the storm.

Repeatedly we are thrown into the storm and into the center. When in the storm, we are exacerbated by our humanness. When in the center, we are relieved by our spiritual place in the Oneness of things. So to find the center and spread our battered wings is to feel the God within.
Our constant struggle is in living both sides of this paradox. For we cannot get to the center without going through the storm that surrounds it. Yet the storm of human experience can only be endured by knowing what the gull knows: The storm can only be survived from the center. In how we pass each other from storm to center and back - there you'll find the trials and gifts of love. 

I have managed to survive a couple pretty brutal storms already this year. The stronger the storm, the more affirming it is to reach my center, to feel Something Greater working within me. There are more storms on the horizon. Big ones. Nasty ones.

My Lord is my shepherd... and my poncho. We've got this.