Today's meditation was structured around "Observing what you feel without reacting to it." The guided meditation was referencing physical sensation; aches and pains, or a tickle on your forehead... All things that may happen while focused on what you are feeling in the moment of mindfulness. The practice today was to acknowledge the sensation, and let it go. To do nothing other than be aware of it's presence, accept that it is there, then move the mind on to the next sensation, without correcting or fixing the initial sensation. Just letting it be, honoring it for what it is, and moving through it.
Lord this one was a struggle...
There are a few relationships in my life that I feel like this EXACT practice is what I have been trying to do. There was a point when I had to take a step back from one of my best friends, and really acknowledge who we were in that present moment, accept that we had changed, honor that we were no longer compatible as close friends, and let it go.
So why is it so difficult for me to do that in other relationships in my life? My marriage is over, and I just need to tear the band aid off again and get it over with legally. I think part of me just aches to have it dissolve amicably. I understand that isn't realistic, but who can blame me for wanting to follow a path of acknowledgement, acceptance, honor, and release?
I have made an additional move in that direction. I have submitted the paperwork to empty out the last of my IRA. It won't be much, but it can get the ball rolling on filing costs and court fees. I feel anxious and excited. Endless possibilities, but I'm also standing and the foot of the mountain looking at the climb.
Even the greatest mountain climbers have to start in the same place. You climb one step at a time.
I'm taking another step and it feels like it's in the right direction.
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