Trying something a little different... a video blog entry!!
Yeah, I couldn't figure out how to imbed my video...
Wow. My hair is getting really long. Now you get to see my face and hear my voice for once. :)
Showing posts with label rambling. Show all posts
Showing posts with label rambling. Show all posts
Thursday, January 9, 2014
Saturday, May 25, 2013
Taoist Thoughts...
I need to settle my heart and my mind on these thoughts.
“You can trust everyone to be human, with all the quirks and inconsistencies we humans display, including disloyalty, dishonesty and downright treachery. We are all capable of the entire range of human behavior, given the circumstances, from absolute saintliness to abject depravity. Trusting someone to limit their sphere of action to one narrow band on the spectrum is idealistic and will inevitably lead to disappointment.
On the other hand, you can decide to trust that everyone is doing their best according to their particular stage of development, and to give everyone their appropriate berth. For this to work, you have to trust yourself to make and have made the right choices that will lead you on the path to your healthy growth. You have to trust yourself to come through every experience safely and enriched. But don’t trust what I am saying. Listen and then decide for yourself. Does this information sit easily in your belly? You know when you trust yourself around someone because your belly feels settled and your heart feels warm.”
― Stephen Russell, Barefoot Doctor's Guide to the Tao: A Spiritual Handbook for the Urban Warrior
“Who you are is always right.”
― Deng Ming-Dao, Everyday Tao: Living with Balance and Harmony
“For a few moments, attune your mind to the idea of harmony and peaceful coexistence flowing among all peoples and nations.
The source of this idea is deep within your heart.
As you calmly breathe in and out, picture it radiating from you like a fine, colored vapor gradually covering the face of the earth.
See it enter the hearts of everyone, especially those stuck in the mad zones.
Feel it circulate everywhere until it comes all the way round and back to you.
This is love in action.
The source of this love is the Tao.
Savor this.”
― Stephen Russell, Barefoot Doctor's Guide to the Tao: A Spiritual Handbook for the Urban Warrior
“When love and hate are both absent, everything becomes clear and undisguised. Make the slightest distinction, however, and heaven and earth are set infinitely apart. If you wish to see the truth, then hold no opinions for or against anything. To set up what you like against what you dislike is the disease of the mind.”
― Hsin Hsin Ming
I had discussed with the therapist that I felt like I was in perpetual limbo. And that when I went up north by myself and asked the universe what I was supposed to do, the answer I got was "you don't have to decide today." The more I'm looking into Taoism and the principles that surround it, maybe I'm not so wishy-washy and "in limbo" after all - maybe I've just been a Taoist my whole life and didn't even know it. It drives my spouse CRAZY when he asks me for my opinion/suggestions on a decision (dinner, for example) and I tell him that I have no preference. For years I would make suggestions only for him to turn around and choose something completely different, leaving me feeling unheard and invalidated. Now when he asks, I have no preference - not because I'm spiteful and no longer want to participate in the decision making process, but because I truly have no preference any more. It's not to say "I don't care," it's more along the lines of letting go of things I ultimately have little/no control of anyways.
I'm rambling...
“You can trust everyone to be human, with all the quirks and inconsistencies we humans display, including disloyalty, dishonesty and downright treachery. We are all capable of the entire range of human behavior, given the circumstances, from absolute saintliness to abject depravity. Trusting someone to limit their sphere of action to one narrow band on the spectrum is idealistic and will inevitably lead to disappointment.
On the other hand, you can decide to trust that everyone is doing their best according to their particular stage of development, and to give everyone their appropriate berth. For this to work, you have to trust yourself to make and have made the right choices that will lead you on the path to your healthy growth. You have to trust yourself to come through every experience safely and enriched. But don’t trust what I am saying. Listen and then decide for yourself. Does this information sit easily in your belly? You know when you trust yourself around someone because your belly feels settled and your heart feels warm.”
― Stephen Russell, Barefoot Doctor's Guide to the Tao: A Spiritual Handbook for the Urban Warrior
“Who you are is always right.”
― Deng Ming-Dao, Everyday Tao: Living with Balance and Harmony
“For a few moments, attune your mind to the idea of harmony and peaceful coexistence flowing among all peoples and nations.
The source of this idea is deep within your heart.
As you calmly breathe in and out, picture it radiating from you like a fine, colored vapor gradually covering the face of the earth.
See it enter the hearts of everyone, especially those stuck in the mad zones.
Feel it circulate everywhere until it comes all the way round and back to you.
This is love in action.
The source of this love is the Tao.
Savor this.”
― Stephen Russell, Barefoot Doctor's Guide to the Tao: A Spiritual Handbook for the Urban Warrior
“When love and hate are both absent, everything becomes clear and undisguised. Make the slightest distinction, however, and heaven and earth are set infinitely apart. If you wish to see the truth, then hold no opinions for or against anything. To set up what you like against what you dislike is the disease of the mind.”
― Hsin Hsin Ming
I had discussed with the therapist that I felt like I was in perpetual limbo. And that when I went up north by myself and asked the universe what I was supposed to do, the answer I got was "you don't have to decide today." The more I'm looking into Taoism and the principles that surround it, maybe I'm not so wishy-washy and "in limbo" after all - maybe I've just been a Taoist my whole life and didn't even know it. It drives my spouse CRAZY when he asks me for my opinion/suggestions on a decision (dinner, for example) and I tell him that I have no preference. For years I would make suggestions only for him to turn around and choose something completely different, leaving me feeling unheard and invalidated. Now when he asks, I have no preference - not because I'm spiteful and no longer want to participate in the decision making process, but because I truly have no preference any more. It's not to say "I don't care," it's more along the lines of letting go of things I ultimately have little/no control of anyways.
I'm rambling...
Wednesday, May 8, 2013
One of THOSE Days
You know the ones... Where it feels like you can't do anything right and the world knows it? That you just can't quite get a handle on what exactly you're supposed to be doing at any given moment? I'm having one of those days today. And it's not because I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing - I know exactly what I should be doing. I even have a prioritized "to do" list!
I just don't want to. Any of it.
I just want to shrug off all my responsibilities and head back up north, waving my middle finger as I go. Not helping with ANYTHING, just dumping everything at everyone else's feet and saying "here, you deal with all this - I'm done for now. Oh, you don't know how to take care of this? Well guess what, I didn't either until you initially dumped it at MY feet and asked me to take care of it. Did I bitch and complain? NO. I made some phone calls, asked some people, and FIGURED SHIT OUT without whining and complaining the whole freaking time. You know why? BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT ADULTS DO. No one is going to hand you things on a silver platter, that just isn't realistic. Sometimes you have to work hard and figure things out all on your own. Here, take all this and give it a try." (shove shove shove)
Yeah... It's one of those days. I should go outside and sit in the sun for a bit. Get my Vitamin D on and just soak it up.
Can you tell I hurt my wrist this morning? I did. Totally got bashed while trying to get a temper tantrum induced toddler dressed. It hurt. A lot. Got my wheels turning that I'm not sure how much of this I'm expected to actually take. I'm not feeling very strong right now. Quite the opposite. I've feeling exceptionally fragile and vulnerable. So I'm putting up my normal front when things are spiraling out of control... "Everything is just fine and I'm happy to just be alive!" It's a front... I'm losing control over here...
I want bacon... <3
I just don't want to. Any of it.
I just want to shrug off all my responsibilities and head back up north, waving my middle finger as I go. Not helping with ANYTHING, just dumping everything at everyone else's feet and saying "here, you deal with all this - I'm done for now. Oh, you don't know how to take care of this? Well guess what, I didn't either until you initially dumped it at MY feet and asked me to take care of it. Did I bitch and complain? NO. I made some phone calls, asked some people, and FIGURED SHIT OUT without whining and complaining the whole freaking time. You know why? BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT ADULTS DO. No one is going to hand you things on a silver platter, that just isn't realistic. Sometimes you have to work hard and figure things out all on your own. Here, take all this and give it a try." (shove shove shove)
Yeah... It's one of those days. I should go outside and sit in the sun for a bit. Get my Vitamin D on and just soak it up.
Can you tell I hurt my wrist this morning? I did. Totally got bashed while trying to get a temper tantrum induced toddler dressed. It hurt. A lot. Got my wheels turning that I'm not sure how much of this I'm expected to actually take. I'm not feeling very strong right now. Quite the opposite. I've feeling exceptionally fragile and vulnerable. So I'm putting up my normal front when things are spiraling out of control... "Everything is just fine and I'm happy to just be alive!" It's a front... I'm losing control over here...
I want bacon... <3
Saturday, March 16, 2013
A Hallow Shell
I downloaded a fun little horoscope app onto my phone, as I was curious what the stars had to say about things for me... So far it's been pretty on the money - saying that things are pretty tumultuous at the moment.
Todays said: You know where you are and you know where you want to be. That is the first step and the last step. All you have to do is fill in the middle and you're on your way!
Seems about right.
But there was something else about this app that caught my attention and made me go "hmm..."
The attributes of my sign are: Active, Demanding, Determined, Effective, and Ambitious.
There was a time when I was all of those things. I intimidated people with my determination and my demanding/commanding presence. Where did I go? When did I lose my "oomph?" I can feel little pieces of the old me trying desperately to break free. Pushing to the surface. Trying to catch a breath of air to bolster itself to finally break out of the hallow shell of whom I've become.
I want to get back to me. I want to be the intelligent, vibrant woman I once was. Now, I understand that I will never be completely the same. I know that my body is different now, on so many levels, that my physical self will never get back to the way that it was. I'm pretty ok with that. I've never been 100% comfortable in my own skin anyways, so this is nothing new. But lately I haven't been comfortable in my own head either. It's kind of a shit storm in there...
You know where you are. Yep. I know exactly where I am. A broken, faded, reflection of who I once was.
You know where you want to be. I want to resurface - to breathe - to rekindle the love affair with myself. To embrace my Active, Demanding, Determined, Effective and Ambitious self.
All you have to do is fill in the middle and you're on your way! Of course they make this part sound so easy... so whimsical, haha. Falling in love with me again means admitting I've falling out of love. With myself, with others... with life. I had forgotten what passion felt like. I had forgotten what inspiration feels like as it tingles its way through you, guiding you, proding you, encouraging you onward.
This week someone said to me "You are wise beyond your years. I almost feel dumb around you. You don't make me feel that way.. but you are just a smart girl." It was the nicest compliment I have gotten in a very long time... and it kinda felt like the old me was making an appearance again.
Todays said: You know where you are and you know where you want to be. That is the first step and the last step. All you have to do is fill in the middle and you're on your way!
Seems about right.
But there was something else about this app that caught my attention and made me go "hmm..."
The attributes of my sign are: Active, Demanding, Determined, Effective, and Ambitious.
There was a time when I was all of those things. I intimidated people with my determination and my demanding/commanding presence. Where did I go? When did I lose my "oomph?" I can feel little pieces of the old me trying desperately to break free. Pushing to the surface. Trying to catch a breath of air to bolster itself to finally break out of the hallow shell of whom I've become.
I want to get back to me. I want to be the intelligent, vibrant woman I once was. Now, I understand that I will never be completely the same. I know that my body is different now, on so many levels, that my physical self will never get back to the way that it was. I'm pretty ok with that. I've never been 100% comfortable in my own skin anyways, so this is nothing new. But lately I haven't been comfortable in my own head either. It's kind of a shit storm in there...
You know where you are. Yep. I know exactly where I am. A broken, faded, reflection of who I once was.
You know where you want to be. I want to resurface - to breathe - to rekindle the love affair with myself. To embrace my Active, Demanding, Determined, Effective and Ambitious self.
All you have to do is fill in the middle and you're on your way! Of course they make this part sound so easy... so whimsical, haha. Falling in love with me again means admitting I've falling out of love. With myself, with others... with life. I had forgotten what passion felt like. I had forgotten what inspiration feels like as it tingles its way through you, guiding you, proding you, encouraging you onward.
This week someone said to me "You are wise beyond your years. I almost feel dumb around you. You don't make me feel that way.. but you are just a smart girl." It was the nicest compliment I have gotten in a very long time... and it kinda felt like the old me was making an appearance again.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)