No Progress

 I am starting to wonder if D is in cahoots with the county clerk. My divorce proceedings have hit an utter gridlock, even though legally D has defaulted his position to participate. Our first settlement hearing was November 4th. According to my counsel, the clerk was supposed to file our scheduling order within 24 hours. 

That didn't happen. I decided to be patient and wait. The courts are backed up.

3.5 weeks later and still nothing. I reached out to my counsel again to ask if I missed something. She says she'll contact the court. A couple hours later, she texts that she talked to the clerk, and they stated it would be filed either that afternoon or the next day. 

This was 2 days ago and still nothing. I don't want to reach out AGAIN as it's costing me money, but what the fuck is going on?? Where the hell is my scheduling order? All they were doing was assigning a mediator and scheduling our next court date... this was supposed to be filed A MONTH AGO. So now my divorce it delayed even more, and I can't help but suspect that someone it trying to pull a fast one to "help D out." Maybe his connections with the court system mean something afterall.

Home stretch. This was supposed to be the home stretch and I'm feeling trapped halfway through. I'm so frustrated with the tiptoeing and pretending.

Thanksgiving was spent at my parents. My mother invited D, so he got his wish of "all of us together as a family." It was quite awkward for me, but my mother decided to be a physical buffer and sat between D and I. Thank God for small favors! Shortly before the get together, my dad fires off a list of "valuables" that he wants us kids to place dibs on, to be added to the wills. While he wants to make things less stressful when they die, in reality it's just awkward and more stress inducing. I'm already trying to grapple with household inventories and what I want... now I have 2 additional households to consider? All while not having a solid idea of where I'm going to live once the divorce is final! My intention is to move in with J, but that won't be immediate. I want to live with him, but Im also a little nervous, as we haven't had the "manage expectations/who's doing what" talk. That will happen eventually, but my nervousness comes from being an outsider infringing on HIS space. I want it to feel like "our" space. 

I know, my own mental block on that one, but I haven't really allowed myself the freedom to fully process What Happens Next, while my Present Tense is at a standstill.