Don't Panic

I got my mammogram results via email. 

They found something. 

Now, to be fair, I do have "dense tissue" which has been the norm for the last 10 years. But they noted a 6mm focal asymmetry. They want me to return for additional imaging, and I will head in as soon as they have availability. 

I thought about not telling anyone, but I don't want to hide my vulnerability to protect anyone else. So I told my best friend, mentioned it to my children's father (due to kid coverage for additional appointments), and I told J. After a brief research on Google, I found reassurance that it literally could be nothing! 

I'm trying to keep with the notion of not panicking until they give me something to panic about. Of course my brain tries to run off with the notion of being a burden, inventing fears that J won't be interested in continuing a relationship, and that D will figure out some other way to stall the divorce, citing medical reasons or something. But then I take a deep breath and I draw calm and strength from the notion that I am not alone. I am loved. I am supported. I have my people and that is enough.