Closure?

This week at work has been so busy, and I have been having such allergy related issues that I've basically been working and then passing out in a benadryl induced coma. Not a great combo for getting anything else done or reaching out to my friends. There were a few really excellent job postings forwarded by my best friend that I finally had a chance to review more closely, and I started journaling again after a couple days off. I was starting to feel a little overwhelmed by it all, but I'm feeling a little better. Baby steps. I dont have to conquer every aspect all at once!

I heard from my ex tonight and was offered an explanation for why he just stopped speaking to me and dropped me like a hot rock. "Us together is a toxic combination. It's not you. It's not me. It's just us together. We trigger the neediest, most toxic behaviors in each other. We spent 2 days together and both instantly regressed. Im still trying to recover from it and that isnt healthy. I talked to my therapist and I just dont see a healthy way forward, and that's okay."

He's right.

I thanked him for his honesty and wished him well. I feel a little better (less abandoned maybe?) understanding where he is coming from, and I'm ready to let that part of my life go. It's in the past and I dont live there anymore.

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I've spoken to my family about my commitment to CoDA, and they are all in support of me attending my meetings and getting the mental help I need to work through everything. I'm also adopting some dietary changes for my health that everyone is on board to support, even my kids!

I feel like things are starting to shift.