I used to be passionate about 4 main things in life:
1) Eating tasty food
2) Massage (giving, not receiving)
3) Sex
4) Horses
As of today, I can manage only 1/2 of one of those 4 things. Last night I dislocated my jaw. I won't get into specifics, as this isn't that kind of blog, but yeah, jaw is a wreck today because of it. If I wasn't feeling lost before, well I definitely am now!! I was once a very sexual being - I like sex (who doesn't???) and I used to be really good at it. Now I just feel broken and useless. My "usefulness" as a woman is being stripped from me, and that is heart breaking. I have been told not to have any more children for fear of either myself or the child not making it out unscathed (or alive) in the end... To have that taken away was a very hard blow. But now, to have the fun part taken away piece by piece too??
Is this a lesson, God? Are you trying to teach me to let go of control? Am I supposed to be like Job and lose everything I have and am to prove my faithfulness to you?? Or is this something else? A not so gentle shove in my life path of which direction I am supposed to go? If that's the case, Lord, could you take the blinders off first so I can see where I'm headed, as right now it just feels like I'm being shoved off a cliff...
Showing posts with label strain. Show all posts
Showing posts with label strain. Show all posts
Monday, January 28, 2013
Monday, January 7, 2013
Ka-CHOO!
One of my kids favorite Dr Seuss books is All Because A Little Bug Went Ka-Choo. Its a whimsical story about how a tiny little bug sneezed and ultimately sets off a Rube Goldberg of catastrophe in a nearby city. One of the last pages shows a parade and a circus colliding downtown, animals and instruments everywhere. This usually illicits hysterics from the small boy - he does love silliness.
What does this have to do with anything?
Well, yesterday I went to Michael's with the fam to pick up a family craft for the afternoon. As we were checking out, I sneezed. Ka-Choo! It wasn't a very big sneeze, in fact, quite puny on the sneeze scale - but here's the thing. I hold my sneezes in. I've been told for years I'm going to hurt myself doing that.
They were right.
During said sneeze, I felt a pop... in my abdomen. My PT checked it out this morning and thinks I may have just ripped my diastasis more, but she wants me to get it checked out. So I'm going in to see my PCP this afternoon to have her mash on my tummy, to make sure I haven't created a new hernia (I already have a small umbilical hernia). From there she will be able to make a recommendation where to go next.
It REALLY hurt after I did it. To the point it doubled me over in line... and I couldn't get upright right away. I've had lingering pain that spikes when I sit up, or engage my abdominals. I also have this lingering feeling of "gotta pee" in my lower abdomen, so I may have just strained one of the ligaments that supports my bladder. I've had no issues with urination, or holding my urine, so that is fabulous! Just one more weird thing to tack on the list of bizarre-o happenings that my rheum claims is unrelated.
We shall see what the PCP says.
Fingers crossed for a strain and no more surgery!!
What does this have to do with anything?
Well, yesterday I went to Michael's with the fam to pick up a family craft for the afternoon. As we were checking out, I sneezed. Ka-Choo! It wasn't a very big sneeze, in fact, quite puny on the sneeze scale - but here's the thing. I hold my sneezes in. I've been told for years I'm going to hurt myself doing that.
They were right.
During said sneeze, I felt a pop... in my abdomen. My PT checked it out this morning and thinks I may have just ripped my diastasis more, but she wants me to get it checked out. So I'm going in to see my PCP this afternoon to have her mash on my tummy, to make sure I haven't created a new hernia (I already have a small umbilical hernia). From there she will be able to make a recommendation where to go next.
It REALLY hurt after I did it. To the point it doubled me over in line... and I couldn't get upright right away. I've had lingering pain that spikes when I sit up, or engage my abdominals. I also have this lingering feeling of "gotta pee" in my lower abdomen, so I may have just strained one of the ligaments that supports my bladder. I've had no issues with urination, or holding my urine, so that is fabulous! Just one more weird thing to tack on the list of bizarre-o happenings that my rheum claims is unrelated.
We shall see what the PCP says.
Fingers crossed for a strain and no more surgery!!
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