Another knee surgery is scheduled for this Thursday. I'm trying to come to terms with how I feel, but tonight I'm mostly just angry. I'm angry that my leg doesn't work and my efforts weren't "enough." I know that it isn't anyone's fault, but it's hard not to feel frustrated and exhausted from constant chronic pain. My knee hurts. And after Thursday it's going to hurt a whole lot more.
It will get better, but I'm mentally not there tonight. Tonight I'm having a pity party for 1 and am wallowing in my upset, sadness, and frustration in the situation.
It will get better.
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