Back to Basics

When I first started this blog, it was a way for me to collect all my health data in one place. To share my medical journey with whomever happened to stumble upon it. I kept track of symptoms, injuries, and medical diagnosis. In the last couple years my blog gives the impression that maybe I have stabilized, that my health is fine, so I shifted gears to focus and share more openly about my mental health.

I've been leaving details out. I've been ignoring pain, ignoring symptoms, and not being honest with myself and everyone else. Mostly because I just wanted to bury my head in the sand and disappear from myself for a little while.

So much for than mental health bit, huh?

So I am bringing it back to basics. I'm going to reexamine my physical health and chronical any changes I see. As it stands, I am taking OTC pain medication nearly daily, I wince everytime I have to stand up, and I can no longer stand in one spot for a prolonged period without pain. Legs, hips, shoulders... the extremities are all inflamed. My lack of movement means I've gained a bit of weight, and its gross, but the weight of my own arms is pulling my shoulders out of the sockets. Ouch! I have tendonitis in both hands and wrists, my tendons in my thumbs slip out frequently (tendon sheath disintegration suspect - the burning is similar to when my wrist "melted" itself). Chewing becomes a challenge at the end of the day. I'm tired... so tired... but no amount of sleep makes me feel rested. My psoriasis has returned in full force... my skin that is usually soft is becoming rough and elephant like in patches. Only a couple times in my life have I ever stopped and looked at myself in the mirror and thought I was actively dying. This is one of those times.

I'm dying.

Now this does not make me unique or special by any means. We are ALL dying (mortality rate being 100% and all), but in this very moment I am not actively living. I have been feeling myself very quietly slipping into the space of no return, and those closest to me have noticed it too. So my mother invited me to join her at a conference about diet and nutrition to break the cycle of inflammation.

I'm game to listen to anything that doesnt involve me taking narcotics, being treated with chemotherapy, or being put in a wheelchair. All of which are on the path I'm currently traveling.

Nope!

So I listened to this keynote speaker. I actively listened and took notes. I was impressed. I got excited. I started to have hope that maybe, just maybe, I could be the captain in turning this ship around. Am I expecting a cure? Absolutely not. But I'm willing to try anything at this point to even just have pain let up a little bit. THAT would be a victory.

I chatted with the speaker after her presentation. I bought her book and she signed my copy. I asked if she had seen patients with Ehlers Danlos and completed any case studies. She said the community has shown interest in her protocol, but no one has actually completed it for case study.

I told her she does now.

I've spent the week meal planning and getting all my tools together. Charting out the mission and the best course of action.

6 weeks.

The protocol is 6 weeks of hyper nurturing my body to help turn off chronic inflammation and maybe, just maybe, start doing a little healing too. Parts of the protocol have me nervous (drinking 96oz of water a day minimum?? I dont drink that much over several days!) but I'm also feeling confident that THIS ISNT GOING TO MAKE ME WORSE. Maybe it wont help, but it certainly isnt going to make me feel worse. Nothing in the protocol will hurt me.

I'm mentally prepared for the toxin dump that will be the first week or so. I know I will feel sick as toxins, heavy metals, and cellular waste is released. Gotta push out the bad stuff with good stuff. But theres a light at the end of the tunnel.

As I mentioned earlier, I'll keep track of what feels different here. That old "hold yourself accountable" thing. Who knows, maybe this will have enough benefits that I can take it back to the EDS community.

Cautiously optimistic.

In the meantime, while I'm doing all this super awesome life changing body healing (and undoubtedly pooping my brains out) I plan on using this time to detox my mind and heart as well. Getting back in the pool. Gentle yoga. Things that move the body, yet clear the mind. More meditations.

More self care and self love.

I asked my Higher Power to show me the way. This was what they laid out before me. Rather than look with a skeptical eye and lament not eating cheese for 6 weeks, I'm taking a leap of faith and trusting this Dr with something completely off the wall, yet speaks to my inner medicinal plant loving soul.

I'm going to nourish my body. I'm going to eat like it matters.